One of the most important things we can teach our children is that people will always let us down. I’ve tried all their lives to teach mine to have realistic expectations about human nature, others and their own. This way when people inevitably do let us down, we are less likely to react in anger or self-pity or revenge, in other words negatively. One of my favorite responses to stories of annoying people in the lives of our kids is a question: Why has God put that person in your life? To learn how to love them! That itself is an annoying truth because it implies that people are not in my life primarily to make me happy, or to make my life easy. No, like everything else in our Christian lives, God uses people for our growth and his glory, and often for their good as well.
These famous, infamous for some, words of Jesus are followed by a further claim that offends many: “No one comes to the Father except through me.” This was just as offensive to people in the Jewish and Pagan environment of Jesus’ day, as it is in the secular environment of our own. I’ve had tussles with non-Christian who get visibly angry at the exclusivity of Jesus’ claims, as if I made it up! The real Jesus would never be so close-minded and narrow, they think. Actually he would, and if you read the gospels carefully, it’s stunning how absolute are Jesus’ words about who he is and what he’s come to accomplish, and the implications for people if they don’t accept him. The Jesus of the gospels is hard core, often harsh, and uncompromising. He confounds not only his enemies, but his closest followers, and even his own family. The New Testament knows nothing of the lovey dovey Jesus who accepts everyone just because.
I recently came upon this quote from 19th century British poet Alfred Lord Tennyson (from his poem Maud). I wonder how many people feel Tennyson’s lament. I also wonder how many people understand that to be a follower of Jesus you must feel this way. What? You mean I need to continually be disappointed with myself? Yes. And since this website has something to do with parenting, we must also teach our children the importance and power of such disappointment in their lives. I’m sure I’ve come across the phrase before, but we can call this holy dissatisfaction.
The older I get, the more I realize why Jesus said that the law and the prophets can all be summed up in . . . . love. The problem with love, “twue wove,” is that it’s hard, as in really difficult. That’s because love means a certain dying to self, and we fallen, sinful creatures are quite fond of our selves. We are loathe by nature to see anything as not about us, our pleasure, our feelings, our desires, and on that goes. This brings to mind a story I recount in the book about learning this painful truth about love and my sinful self-centered self, and something I’ve used on my kids many times as they’ve grown up. I heard the phrase of this post’s title on a podcast recently, and it captures well the end to which love brings us: Right Relationship. The story recounts one among many ways God has tried to build this into my life.
Every year our family watches A Charlie Brown Christmas. The show premiered on December 9, 1965, and the most powerful scene almost didn’t make it on air. The CBS honchos were afraid a biblical declaration of the gospel coming from Linus would offend too many people. Needless to say, in 2018 the scene wouldn’t have a chance. Thankfully, every year, or any time we want via this amazing thing called the Internet, we can enjoy it’s profundity again and again:
Charlie Brown: Isn’t there anyone, who knows what Christmas is all about?!
Linus: Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about. Lights please?
8Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.9And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.10Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.11 “For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.12“And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
14“Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, good will toward men!”
The pastor of the church we attend recently said these words, and because I’ve been slowly reading and writing through the gospels, I found them spot on. It’s amazing to me, but not surprising, that Jesus is the most misunderstood person in history. Amazing because when you read the gospels carefully, Jesus is nothing like the popular cultural conception of him; not even close. Not surprising because the real Jesus is threatening. This is a major apologetics point to imprint on our children: the Jesus of the gospels could not be a figment of human imagination. Sinful, self-centered people don’t make this stuff up.
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